I made a really, really stupid mistake in 2017 to try an illicit drug after a holiday party in my home. Two days later at work an incident occurred with a patient, I do not believe I was impaired but the board suspended my license and gave me a year probation. Luckily, I had an amazing attorney who worked on my case for one year. It has been the most difficult, embarrassing, depressing thing I have ever dealt with in my life. Fortunately I am 4 months into probation and can practice without any restrictions. I was an acute care nurse in the hospital for 8 years, and am not practicing basically at the bottom of my license in a nursing home with LPN’s and mostly just a glorified med-aide. I have applied to literally dozens of jobs, and this has been the only one I was fortunate to get immediately after probation began. I never thought it would be this difficult to find job, let alone feel the sinking despair about my future opportunities.
I am also in graduate school working towards a nurse practitioner’s license, MSN. I am a year into my program and have a 3.8. I started immediately after the incident and positive drug test, so I have proven myself in some ways that I am not a total failure!
My question is this. Has anyone been through this and come out the other side, if so what is your experience? I have been completely up front in all of my interviews, and applications. Mostly, hospitals feel I am a liability and though I have an excellent work history I also screwed up majorly one time and am continually trying to make amends.
Do any managers out there consider this a game ender? I am afraid I am going through graduate school, paying for tuition and likely it will take some time to fully recover and again, prove my sobriety, etc. Though, I must mention I was evaluated by the board and a chemical dependency counselor and found not to have a problem or necessitate treatment. Nonetheless, I take responsibility and have grown and worked on myself during this last year and a half more than I can explain in words.
Any pearls of wisdom, glimmers of hope much appreciated.
Please don’t say anything directly cruel, I’ve already been beating myself up.